I am a simpleton, plain and simple. I would rather say it now and be done with it, moreover you would have found out on your own and I wanted to save you the time and energy. I finally am going to do something right for the first time in my life. It was Jimmy that made me do it but it wasn’t its fault either because it was just passing on a message from the higher power. Jimmy is my pet dog, my only friend and it has helped me find a way to my salvation. I live alone, forever damned to a life of solitude. Until a couple of years ago I lived with my mummy, she is gone now, so I have only my kids at the nursery where I work and animals for companionship because they seem to be the only ones who are oblivious to my condition. I am 32 years old, I work in a daycare, and I don’t have friends, will never get married, will probably never have kids and am treated with the kind of patience given to a 5 year old in my community because I am retarded. And my life would have continued that way if the higher powers hadn’t spoken to me.
I was rushing to go to work because I was running late and while I was bustling around trying to boil water on my electric kettle and at the same time do something else Jimmy was also running around and in between my legs also caught up in my excitement, I kept on cautioning the damn dog to no avail, I even threatened not to feed it and that also fell on deaf ears, while my tirade with Jimmy continued my water got boiled, so I tried to switch off without looking because I was still have a heated conversation with Jimmy, I shouting obscenities at it while Jimmy was barking obscenities in return, it all seemed like a game to the dog. That was when the electric kettle shocked me and I stumbled, and guess who was in my path to assist my tumble? Anyway I fell and hit my head on the kitchen table and my lights went out for about 5 minutes, minutes that felt like hours because I was transported elsewhere that had a lot of blinding light and I had a chat with an ethereal Jimmy who told me or kind of ordered me on what must be done. When I came to, the earthly Jimmy was licking my face in concern, I got up gently patted Jimmy in the head and told it I understood perfectly and thy will would be done. I went straight to my dead papa’s room and went to his drawer that I hadn’t opened since he died 7 years ago and brought it out, it felt hard, cold and reassuring, it then hit me that all these had been ordained because I couldn’t understand why I hadn’t done away with it what was now in my hands, especially since have been meaning to dispose of it all these years because I hated and despised it, I couldn’t stand the sight of it and it scared the shit out of me. I dressed in preparation for work and fed the dog while I was at it, after I finished I locked up and was on my way to work when I remembered Jimmy, there was no way I was going without my Jimmy coming along so I went back in and called for jimmy.
I got to work about 45 minutes late partly because of the heavy bag I carried, quickly signed in and headed to my nursery. The daycare has about 6 workers including I and we each take care of 8 wards [kids] each. When I got in to my nursery my little angels were playing, when they saw me they all stopped and rushed towards me circling and greeting me in that sing song manner only little kids know how to do. Mark asked why I was late, Ruth and the others echoed the same question while Jude ever the curious one asked what I had in the big bag I carried over my shoulder? I explained to them that I was late because I had a little accident at home and they all told me sorry, then Jude asked me again what I had in the bag and I told them it was a surprise for later. I shared crayons and papers for them and told them to start coloring, while they were busy coloring I went behind my table, sat down watching them with so much joy and pride, looking at them with satisfaction at the progress they have made at such a short time and I congratulated myself. I also looked around the nursery I decorated my self with pride that my heart was almost bursting, then my eyes fell on the plaques on the wall showing my awards as the ‘Children’s Teacher’ of the year four years running and I almost choked on my tears. After about 40 minutes of the kids crayoning and of me reminiscing I called them to a halt and told them it was storytelling time so I locked the door to the nursery to avoid disturbance, carried my bag to the middle of the room opened and told the kids to gather around, they gathered around with their eyes wide open with confusion and wonderment at the content of the bag, then I told them a story about love and the sacrifices made because of love. After the story ended I brought out my dads .22 and shot all of them in the head, by the time I was through there were already load knocks on my nursery door, other nursery teachers yelling my name and asking if everything was fine, but I didn’t bother, I just continued with what I had to do, after arranging the kids into a circle around me and the contents of my bag I sat down in the middle crying and caressing all of them then I dipped my finger in to their blood and scribbled on the floor with shaky hands before I put the gun into my mouth and pulled the trigger.
Watching out for you in all the things you do.
Reminding you to keep believing in brighter days.
Finding ways for your wishes and dreams to take you to beautiful places
Giving you hope that is as certain as the sun.
Giving you the strength of serenity as your guide.
May you always have love and comfort and courage.
And may you always have an angel by your side
May you always have an angel by your side.
Someone there to catch you if you fall.
Encouraging your dreams.
Inspiring your happiness.
Holding your hand and helping you through it all
In all of our days, our lives are always changing.
Tears come along as well as smiles.
Along the roads you travel, may the miles be a thousand times more lovely than lonely.
May they give you the kind of gifts that never, ever end.
Someone wonderful to love and a dear friend in whom you can confide.
May you have rainbows after every storm.
May you have hopes to keep you warm.
And may you always have an angel by your side
My Dark School Of Thoughts 
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