The chiming of the doorbell clearly indicated that the scavengers were already circling
, and when I opened the door I found out it was my father and mother in-law. My father in-law gave me a hug with one hand while he held a bottle of
champagne in the other as I wrinkled my nose at the smell of garlic oozing from his breath, it’s so good to see you he said to me as my mother in-law
smiled and greet
ed in a voice dripped with so much sweetness but was also laced with equal amount of sarcasm
too. I kn
ow the truth
! Like the smile, the words were as false as everything else about the woman
, and as she gave me a hug
, I had to fight back the bile that threatened to rush up my throat for I hated this woman as much as a mongoose hated snakes.
When they entered our new ho
me her sharp eyes raked
everywhere, never miss
ing anything, not even the smallest particle of dust
would have eluded her. She
is the kind of person that couldn’t
help but criticize
me even if she tried hard not to
, and I kn
ow that regardless of all the arrangement and preparation I had done, she was bound to find discrepancies.
My father in-law left us to drop off the
champagne, now alone with my greatest nemesis
, I tried to start a chit-chat to lighten the mood but she gave me a scornful and icy look that indicated I was in for a horrible and disastrous night.
She has always hate
d me because I had committed the one cardinal sin in her book; I stole her precious son from right under her nose and thus
she forever tagged me “The other woman”.
My father in-law came back into the room and said it was unfortunate that my husband wasn’t around for the house warming because he had to go on a business trip, and before he could finish his statement that was surely going to end with an insult, I was saved by the door bell. With shaky hands and my heart beating fast I walked to the door and opened it for my cousin and his ugly wife. He stood at the doorway smiling, then he greeted me with his eyes permanently fixed on the little bit of exposed cleavage revealed by my evening gown, and it brought back the horrible memory of the my childhood and the days he tormented me, his wife on the other hand said nothing but wore this murderous and hateful look on her face. She’d always been jealous of me because I was prettier, and I stopped bothering myself about her because she was an inconsequential mouse.
I had hardly sat down in the sitting room after I ushered my cousin and his wife in when the bell rang again and I stood up to answer it when my cousin spanked me on my behind and gave me a leery look as I passed him on the corridor, angry I stopped to give him a piece of my mind but i kept my anger in check, after all I wanted tonight to be perfect and this was going to be the last time I will invite all of them to my house again, so I managed a grimace, gave him the middle finger, mouthed a ‘Fuck you”, then went to answer the door. I already suspected that it was my mother because she had no iota of reserve, patience and understanding, and I was right on the money. Immediately I closed the door behind her, she accused me of leaving her too long in the cold then asked for an apology but before I could utter anything in the way of one she looked at me searchingly as my mother in-law would have and with as much jealousy as my cousins wife would too, then shook her head slowly and hissed. I was used to that now because my mother had always enjoyed criticizing and humiliating me especially in front of people since when I was a child, so I already developed a thick skin and was immune to her antics.
while I sat with them in the sitting room sipping hot coffee then waiting for the cook to finish with the dinner and my last guests to arrive, I watched in amusement as my mum and mother in-law tried to out do each other in a silly game of who was the most fashionable as a youth. Sometime during their exchange I must have dozed off because I was suddenly jarred awake by the persistent ringing of the doorbell, so I got up, walked to the door and opened it slowly to see it was my sweet smiling best friend. We have been best of friends since our primary school days and have remained so all this while, she was the only person I could tell my inner most pains and desires to and she was also my form of outlet for pain and frustration because she had this strange way of making me smile no matter the situation. Immediately I opened the door she threw her arms around, smiled, hugged me and told me I looked sexy in my attire, then she asked if all was set and if there was anything she could do. I told her not to worry that my cook had things under control. Oh yes! She exclaimed, your young and sexy gay cook. Then she teasingly asked as she walked towards the kitchen, “I wonder if I could seduce him and make him see things my own way”? Before I could tell her she was wasting her time the door bell rang again, frustrated by the ringing and at the same time relieved that my last guest had arrived I turn to open the door.
It was my publisher and I ushered him inside, then went to the kitchen to instruct my cook to bring dinner to the table, then I went back to tell my guest that dinner was set and I showed them to the dining room. As the guests sat on the long table they had this pleasantly amazed look on their faces as they turned around and admired the beauty of the room, and despite my earlier fears I looked around the dining room too with pride and joy etched all over my face. The mouth watery foods arrived with a bottle of champagne which I popped and served for everyone, I then stood up and raised my glass to deliver a toast and the room fell quiet “To all that has passed before us and to all that will come no more for us here and forever after. May good tidings come to our doors and lives”, they all smiled, clinked their glasses together and drank, and then I continued by telling them that today is sort of like a double celebration because I was finally getting my novel published, and that my publisher is eagerly awaiting for the last chapter of my novel. My best friend stood up to hug me and said she was overjoyed for me and so was my father in-law too, my mother in-law was indifferent about the news as usual, while my mother offered her congratulations with a little blow by saying she was relieved for me because I have been writing this story for years with nothing to show for it, and that we all know how these deals usually don’t materialize in the end but it was good to hear some good news for once no matter how short lived it might be. During all this my publisher sat stuck still on his chair with a shocked look on his face and a glass of champagne half raised to his mouth, I turned to him with my sweetest smile and asked him if he was alright, he stammered then cleared his throat before saying he had no knowledge that he was publishing my book, and the room fell silent for the second time.
I cleared my throat and said I had something I wanted to say to each of them, then I started with my publisher; I now have a new publisher and may you rot in hell for all you put me through all this years, for shattering my confidence, for discouraging me at every turn, for telling me that I wasn’t good enough a writer, for telling me I was a financial risk you were taking and for telling me I had to sleep with you before you could even begin to consider my book for a publication. Then I turned to my father and mother in-law and said, I hate both of you because you’ve made my life a living hell since the day I married your son, you are both the most arrogant, domineering, disgusting and hateful people that I’ve ever had the misfortune to meet. There was a gasp from the table and it seemed to settle over the room like a heavy fog, even my in-laws who always had something to say were too stunned to speak. And as for you my supposed best friend, I know you’ve been fucking my husband and I despise you so much for it. You were supposed to be my friend I said, but you betrayed me when I caught you screwing my husband. It was before we moved to our new home, and for how long they have been screwing I don’t know because I had mistakenly stumbled upon them when I came home early from a meeting with my publisher, neither of them saw me and I made sure it remained that way as i quickly turned around and left the house.
Then I turned to my cousin and said, I will cut off your dick later and force it down your throat the way you used to force it down mine whenever you took me to your room when i was a little child and said to me “Let me show you what your mummy and daddy does at night”, then I turned to his wife and said with as much sarcasm as I could muster, you can now envy the demons in hell for all I care but you’ll never look at me again with jealousy and hatred, for I have made sure of that. And finally mum, if you had been a kind and caring mother who didn’t completely ignore and blame me for hindering her modeling career because you were pregnant of me, my life would have been better and I wouldn’t see you as a coward and a pig that I see you as now. What is wrong with you? My mother managed to yell as my cousin tried to rise from his chair, but he just couldn’t and his face was already turning blue as he struggled to loosen his collar. Then I answered, I have killed all of you I said with finality, you are all dead meat for the beasts in hell.
My mother let out a heart wrenching scream as she clutched her stomach, there was another scream, another groan, then a curse, and soon they all fell into their plate of food dying because of the poison I laced in the drink. I watched them struggle, savoring the moment, I watched them take their last breath and loving every second of it because I had waited for this moment all my life.
When I was sure that they were all dead, I rang for the cook and he came in carrying a fresh bottle of champagne with two glasses. He filled the glasses up and handed one over to me to deliver another toast, “To a House warming that I will always remember and may this house be filled with silence, love and peace from here on”. We clinked glasses, drank then made love right in front of them all to see. After the hot passionate sex we carried the bodies to the backyard and dumped them alongside my husband’s in the grave we dug yesterday. We kissed passionately again under the moonlight, then I stabbed him in the stomach thrice in quick succession, before I slowly withdrew, looked him in the eyes and whispered “I am sorry”.
He had this stunned look on his face as he held on to the knife before he fell into the grave dying. I looked down at him and felt a little tingle of regret, he was so young, handsome and strong but it couldn’t be helped, he had to die because I couldn’t trust anyone with this kind of secret and moreover he had outlived his usefulness. I owe to him my new found freedom, which much I agree because I couldn’t have pulled it off without him. It was the ensuing struggle he had with my husband when he came home yesterday unannounced and caught us in bed that led to my husband’s accidental death and the hatching of this plan. The ironic thing was that I had only been sleeping with him to get back at my husband and best friend for their infidelity.
I began to quickly shovel dirt into the grave to cover it because I had to return to my novel and finish the last chapter. I finally had the perfect ending, and even better, I had finally buried my ghosts and shut the worst of my critics.
THE END
With a sigh of satisfaction I dropped back on my recliner, looked out the window at the stars and smiled before I closed my eyes and began to reflect on the circumstances that led to my brilliant idea for the ending.
I had struggled to write this for a very long time and I had almost finished it about a month ago, but the perfect ending had been elusive. Yes, the story was about me and the characters were based on my real in-laws, husband, cousin, best friend and publisher but I realized that I couldn’t finish the book because the novel was based on my life and I didn’t know how it would end. Then the chance to act out the ending only came to me yesterday after the cook accidentally killed my husband. Since his death coincides with our “House warming” celebration I decided to act out my ending and kill all of them because it was the only way I could finish my book. Halfway through my musing I made a mental note to call my publisher before I went to bed to tell him that the last chapter of my book was finished and ready for publication and that I was changing the title of the book to something more suiting.
My Dark School Of Thoughts 
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