Which is worse? The life of a flightless bird or the life of one which can never perch
THE MARKET SQUARE
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Reminiscent of a marketplace, people haggled for the best possible bargain obtainable, just as others attempted to beguile unsuspecting victims off their hard attained earnings. In the more aphotic sections, clandestine schemes were being hatched by some who were patiently waiting for those who would lower their guards and thus be relieved of their worldly possessions. It was an inevitable cycle and thus accepted, so life progressed with its usual hustle and bustle as people went about their various enterprises.
In all this chaos was a woman, who plodded aimlessly as she headed deeper into the maniacal crux of this very human business activities. Life around her went on in a flurry of activities, as thought she didn’t exist. Life around her went on without her presence affecting any form of change. Life around her went on as thought she was merely going through the motion. It went on as thought life wasn’t going through her, but she was going through life in fulgent coruscation.
She’d been on this nugatory path for so long that she should have lost the volition to live, but she strangely hadn’t. If there were any dubieties as to the magnitude of her torment, her dour face, scabies infested skin, goitrous neck and kyphotic back bore grave testament to the unpleasant clobbering life had dealt her. Also, her rheumatoid ankles have left her with a pitiable gimp that has further compounded her misery. She is weary of life but has no choice but to forge on. Her ankle deformation which was to be expected with age had also been made worse by the many great spans she’d been made to traverse all these years. But she had to forge on despite the pain, lack of direction, lack of destination and lack of expected reprieve. She did not belong to anyone, anything or anywhere and worse, she cannot be acknowledged by anyone.
She wants to weep in shame but even her tears had deserted her to her trespasses. She didn’t know which was worse; wallowing in shame for the whole world to see or suffocating in shame and praying for someone to notice because being noticed meant being significant. She searches desperately for the only friend she’d possessed but lost because of her intense desire for the vanities of the world. She searched desperately for anyone who would notice her and become her friend. But people distanced themselves and avoided her by default. They all shied away whenever she drew near, as thought she was a harbinger of evil tidings. Deplorably, these people were ignorant of the fact that they acted this way towards her. Their reaction was only an instinctual defense triggered by the human mind and spirit, in response to an approaching fractured soul.
She tried to beg for something to sate her hunger but her efforts, yet again were futile. She is badly in need of water to quench her ever present thirst, but that too was out of her reach. Filled with dejection and fatigue, she pulls out her worn mackinaw to lie down in an abandoned stall, and then began to massage her rheumatoid legs as she tried not to think about her predicaments. But it was to no avail as a melancholic mantle enshrouded her and induced suppressed memories of a distant life once lived. The memories of where she was from or what name she’d been given were but a distant blur. But she remembered that it hadn’t always been like this, she remembered that;
Once upon a time, there was a young lass who…
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Had the brightest of smiles, the meekest of hearts and the purest of souls. But with all these pristine attributes, she was far from riant. This lass who was named for her granny, was unsatisfied with her lot in life and wished for a transition. She wasn’t asking for much; she only wanted friends, to be acknowledged by her peers and above all, be popular. But all these were beyond her because she was just an unhandsome and freckled faced sweet lass whose parents were low in the social hierarchy. What the lass never knew was that she was first amongst her equals. She was blessed with a gift and with such honors comes sacrifices. She never knew her future had been so bright that it had permanently burnt out the spiritual aperture of a seer who had once dared a glimpse into it. She never knew that she would eventually have had the world on its knees supplicating.
Whether one person should have a legitimate claim to such powers is left to be said. Whether she would have refrained from abusing her destiny if she’d blossomed into the woman it premeditated for her to be, is a thought one wouldn’t want to entertain. Whether it was for the best that she had irrevocably steered herself from the path of her destiny, is something we would never know. Whether the displacement from her path was due to the ministration of darker forces or otherwise, because of what the future was thought to hold, is something we dare not contemplate.
The friendship she lacked with her peers, she established with birds and animals for they were more in tune with their spirituality than humans and thus saw her for who she really was. The connection she failed to establish with her peers, she attained with them because they were more empathic to feelings as opposed to humans and thus saw a lonely soul, desperately in need of comfort. The companionship she failed to find amongst her peers, she discovered with them because unlike humans, they understood and appreciated the importance of togetherness more.
It so happened that on one faithful day, while taking a walk in the woods, she came across a poor looking woman thirstily drinking from the stream. A familiar steering urged her to reach out to the woman and when she did, her life changed forever. They quickly became friends and everyday she brought food for the woman whom she later knew to be Lupita. They talked a lot and eventually covered a wide range of topics, shared their innermost secrets and confessed their carnal desires. And with time, Lupita came to know the young lass’s troubles and pains.
Lupita’s heart reached out to the young lass for she strongly reminded her of her younger years. She more than anyone, knew how the pains of not supposedly matching up to standard of your peers can psychologically affect a person. But when she’d tried to commiserate with the lass, she was rebuffed and it hurt her so bad. She wanted to help the lass because she was the only person who’d ever befriended her throughout her long nomadic existence, but she feared their friendship would be forfeited in the bargain.
You see, Lupita knew a secret that could help the lass but she didn’t think she could stand to see the lass face the dire consequences she’d faced and still faces, after she’d trudged on a similar path long ago. So she tried to preach the worldly lessons on the values and benefits of the purity of a soul but the lass would have none of it. The lass was of the belief that there were no values to a pure soul if others couldn’t see and appreciate it. The lass argued at every turn and eventually declared that she would die fulfilled if her heart desires were just briefly granted to her. At this point, the profundity of the lass’s consuming desires became apparent to Lupita.
So with a heavy heart Lupita drew her closer and began to whisper bittersweet tidings into her ears. She told the lass about her former life, an ancient spell and the dark secret behind her nomadic existence, and when she was through, the lass’s face lit up in joy and excitement. Lupita tried to quell her excitement by warning her of the consequences, but they were to no avail as the lass’s mind was already made up. Left with no choice, Lupita taught the overly excited lass the spell, and then offered her some stern words of admonition.
She’d warned that;
Once the spell is cast, it can never be reversed
You shall have your heart desires but you must be wary
For when you become unstrung from your momma’s apron, you’d come of age
When you comes of age, you’d become a bird of passage, devoid of value
Once devoid of value, you’d also be devoid of an identity and visage
You would be a fugitive to your future and a hostage to your past
And therefore, will strive to find liberation in your present
But by then, your struggle will be forlorn.
The lass was bewildered by the warning, but Lupita tearfully assured her that all was well. Deep down, she knew that the pure heart which allowed the lass notice and befriend her would be rendered empty by the spell when the lass recites it. For just as the lass sacrifices her pure heart for the vanities of the world, Lupita will also sacrifice the only companionship she’d ever had for the sake of the lass’s happiness. So with tears flowing down her face, Lupita whispered a goodbye at the lass’s departing figure and hoped her sacrifice was worth it.
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The sudden bolt of lightning and crashing thunder in the night skies shook her back to the present and with a sigh, she tried to shove her dark past into the deeper recess of her memories. Then she tried to sleep, but it was no easy feat for she was frail and the chill brought by the rain had settled inside her bones. As she closed her eyes, she prayed she finds Lupita so that she could hold her hands and ask for her forgiveness. It was the only thing she lived for now.
Even though she is aware that like Lupita, she was now a bird of passage, destined never to have a value, an identity and a visage, she still hoped. Even though she is aware that it was impossible for her to ever meet Lupita again because birds of passage never cross each other’s path because they were doomed to a solitary existence, she still hoped. And when her turbulent slumber, which was filled with terrifying nightmares of her past finally came, the rain’s torrent intensified, as thought in mourning of the passage of a fractured soul.
My Dark School Of Thoughts 
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