“All pure and genuine maleficence, stemmed from a lure and pristine innocence”
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Oh my!
Such unknown complexity that strings our world,
For my innocence which I presumed to be deeply ingrained
Has been lost so easily, never to be regained for all eternity;
Worse, I have been abandoned to my perplexity,
For my generations who have now been stripped off their dexterity,
Just so that they can reap from my sheer stupidity;
I was created to refrain in the wild
Where everything was there for the taking,
But not for all to be taken;
Now I plunder like a child devoid of restrain,
My once pristine soul charred by the subtle stroke of the darkness,
Now forever lost to the light which is the gentle guide to the angels’ guild;
If only I could take it all back in one mild stride,
But my soul which is now too dark and beyond redemption,
Has also been bereaved of its spiritual might;
It all began after my eyes were descaled beneath the shade of the grove,
As I contemplated the heat of the high noon;
Once the juice flowed down my throat, I lost the fight,
As it all but nearly drove me insane from fright;
All that she wanted, was for me to see the light,
But alas all it did was raise me to a vile height,
Now I know not what is right.
I think I have lost my sight in his eyes,
And might pay the gravest of consequences for my misadventure,
For just as it had slithered towards her and offered,
She had come forth embittered, and thus withered my heart.
Suddenly I perceived the world as never before seen,
Such eloquent speeches and grand scenes,
Such brash display of soma,
Such exquisite aroma,
Oh! How I wish to be stricken into a coma.
Such felonious mirth I felt as I laid my head on her bosom,
Such melodies rhythm as I heard her heartbeat,
Such litter of doubts that filled the bottom till I felt the heartbreak,
Such burning fire that coursed through my vein till I felt the heartburn;
How she managed to browbeat me into this is beyond me,
Only the life above me can hold me through and see me beyond this.
Never before have I felt this much shame as I sought some reprieve,
I wonder how I can ever support such claim.
How long can I hide from him I wondered?
So I looked towards the horizon as I pondered.
Such temporary relief that washed over me
When I realized his sight was set elsewhere,
Hopefully away from where I hid;
For I am certain he shall irk,
He who had given us the light and brimstone shall tremble in ire,
And there shall be dire consequences because of my misdeed.
With a heart filled with trepidation, I await,
Jealously watching the flowers and trees flutter, while the beasts bluster around,
Oblivious to it all as the comfort of the morn and the warmth of the noon eases them;
I mutter to no one about how I miss such ignorance, how I crave such feeling,
I bother that such deprave feelings are coursing through me now,
For I know now that ignorance is bliss.
To the grave it would follow
And the brave of the future would greatly feel the grief in my hollow heart,
Even though it shall be but brief;
My beautiful garden where I lord over all has now become my prison
Because I had simply succumbed to her reason;
Now that I have betrayed his trust,
I lay shivering as thought covered in frost,
For I fear that my season in this haven is coming to an abrupt halt.
Worse, I know not how to exalt him so that I may seek favor in his eyes again.
Worst, the crux of this deception may never be unearthed.
It all seems so alien and funny to me,
Yet I know not whether to call my life a melodrama,
For I wonder what I must do to be blinded again to all these rife drama;
My darkened soul and withered heart prevents me so,
For it is as thought my wife has poisoned me with the juice of belladonna.
Even the blackened clouds mourn my dilemma,
For I see it from under the shade of the grove in which I have taken cover,
As thought stricken by an extreme case of melanoma;
In the millennia to come I hope to be forgiven like an unfaithful lover,
Only then would my spirit be free to float and hover without hinder,
Like the wind of the eastern corner.
If only I had tackled my temptation with more fear and aggression,
I wouldn’t be hoping he would hear of my transgression
And see it as a mere misconception.
If only I’ll hear his voice now,
Assuring me that all is not lost
And that my innocent soul shall be found again.
If only he would proclaim to me;
“Come thou from beyond the grove in ululation”.
“Come forth into my presence like a lamb and rejoice”.
If only he could shower me kisses and proclaim that all is forgiven,
Only then would I feel extreme exultation.
I look around for she who had led me,
But I see not thee, who had fed me.
She seems to have found a better bed for concealment,
And therefore has left me red in the face and to my own derailment.
If only I had held my reserve and never taken that treacherous bite,
My innocent soul would still have remained in preserve,
Rather than set on this lecherous plight.
But then I wonder if my soul had ever been wed to innocence in the first place,
Because the dead feeling possessing me now is so profane
For it to have just been borne within me;
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But why place such a vile creature within a mile of us who possess pure features?
Why banish it down here, where we abode rather than elsewhere?
Why thrust it into our midst when its presence could barely be withstood above?
Why not destroy it rather condole the spread of its corruption?
Is this occurrence for your pleasure?
Or should it be chalked as an inexcusable oversight on your path?
I wonder who is to blame for this wave of misgiving.
I wonder who should rightfully be punished with a grave grieving;
I who was created to be blindsided into believing
Or she who was created to be susceptible to the deceiving?
Or should it be he who was once the epitome of innocence. He who was only exhibiting his truest nature by receiving an opportunity you presented
Or you our supreme maker, who created us, then after perceiving all that was to happen, still let what you supposedly foresaw play its course?
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All these I ponder about as I tearfully await his wrath,
All these I wonder about as I fearfully anticipate his judgment,
All these I bother about as I imagine the carefully thought out path
He would banish me through and into yonder.
By my word! I have no reason to live for I am finished.
Oh lord! Forgive me, for in my thinking and doings, I have sinned.
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My Dark School Of Thoughts 
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